Princess Buick GMC

Princess Buick GMC was a "legitimate car dealership" operated by Princess Alice for exactly one afternoon in late October 2021.

Overview

Princess Buick GMC was located in the rear parking lot of Dame Adorabelle's Academy. The entire inventory of the "dealership" consisted of a Buick sedan identical to the one driven by The Headmistress and a GMC SUV identical to the one driven by Peter Pomeroy, the school's head of security. When asked whether she had any Chevrolet vehicles for sale, Princess Alice suggested she may have one in stock "when Miss Teacherson gets back from lunch, unless she took the train today." Princess Alice pointedly refused to answer any questions about how she acquired the automobiles she was trying to sell.

Radio advertisement

Princess Buick GMC ran only a single advertisement, airing on a popular radio station in the Havensborough area:

• Are you tired of Princess Alice pointing and laughing at your old car, then posting digital photos of it on Twitter to publicly mock you? Well, come on down to PRINCESS BUICK GMC, where we can satisfy your hankering today!! At Princess Buick GMC, we can get you into a nicer, newer car for only 🍭60 down! All credit is approved, no questions asked! By which we mean: Don't ask questions about where these cars came from, or you will be escorted from the premises! At Princess Buick GMC, our customers always come first! Unless what you want is different from what Princess Alice wants, in which case Princess Alice obviously comes first! So head on down to Princess Buick GMC, conveniently located in the rear parking lot of Dame Adorabelle's Academy for the Magical Arts. But don't wait--once the Headmistress finds out what we're doing, these deals are gone!!

The effectiveness of this ad campaign is not known, as Princess Buick GMC went defunct mere hours after the commercial aired.

Dissolution

Less than 8 hours after Princess Buick GMC opened, the "dealership" was shut down by the Princess Mischief Task Force, a division of the Dame Adorabelle's Academy's Public Safety Department. (As far as anyone knows, Dame Adorabelle's is the only school in the world to have a dedicated security unit for princess-related incidents.) School personnel later found the license plates from the Headmistress's Buick and the Head of Security's GMC stuffed in Princess Alice's locker, though the princess maintains she does not know how they got there. The license plates were returned to their respective owners, and Princess Alice was given two weeks of detention.

Despite its low asking prices, Princess Buick GMC failed to sell any vehicles during its short operation.