Sheriff Mercury
| Sheriff Ford Lincoln Mercury | |
| sheriff | |
 picrew | |
| race | human |
| pronouns | he/him/his |
| age | 56 |
| residence | Sterling Township, Lakeland, FRZ |
| affiliations | Union County Sheriff's Office |
- "Come on, kid. It says 'SHERIFF LINE DO NOT CROSS', not 'DO NOT CROSS EXCEPT HYBRIS'."
- -- Sheriff Mercury, reprimanding Hybris for barging into an active crime scene
Ford Lincoln Mercury is the sheriff of Union County, Lakeland, Zeoria.
As sheriff, Mercury is tasked with investigating the crimes frequently occurring near Hybris, the so-called "Sweet Tooth Detective". Mercury finds the staggering incidence of crimes in the rural lakeside county exasperating on its own, but his patience is further tested by Hybris's tendency to insert herself into his investigations.
According to Mercury, the only reason he hasn't retired is because nobody else is willing to run for sheriff in Union County. He can't really blame them.
Sheriff Mercury's deputies include Detective Olds and Sergeant Plymouth.